Unnecessary

Introducing....Megan's completely unnecessary to the point of ridiculous PONYTAIL!!!

...and her messy face as she dabbles in two containers of yogurt while balanced precariously on a chair in my usual desperation to find her Something To Do.

In other unnecessary news, we went trick or treating on Halloween with Megan and four other toddlers. Their parents came too, it's not like they dropped their kids off so that Brad and I could celebrate the evening with them. It was awesome fun! Megan totally understood everything about the routine of going up to the door, knocking, saying "TIKUHTEEE" getting candy in her bag, and saying thank you.

The unnecessary part? The candy! Megan hadn't really seen candy before, so she had NO IDEA what she was getting in her bag. Which we called a purse because she likes purses. She just adored getting "stuff" that was brightly coloured in crinkly wrappers in her purse! After she went to bed we ate a bunch of her candy, threw out the icky stuff and voila! Halloween success minus the candy. I love the innocence of a 22 month old and just know that by next year my almost three year old will almost certainly be much much more worldly.

It must be so weird for Megan (and other toddlers) - randomly we dress her and her friends up like stuffed animals, take them out in the dark, walk up to strange houses and knock on doors and get stuff.....then we don't do it again the next night or really ever mention it much again! At least this year Megan was old enough to appreciate the Halloween decorations - some of the neighbours went all out, and she totally knew something special was going on. Last year we took her and another little one out and they really had NO CLUE that they were even in costume, much less that there was anything strange or different about the houses we visited. Plus, they couldn't walk, and her one friend only had two teeth, so there was NO CHANCE anyone believed the candy was for anyone other than their parents. It's amazing how much changes in a year.

We have had yet more busy busy around here with a pile of sick sick sick thrown in for good measure.

Two weeks ago Brad left for a work trip and I was on my own, which was fine until two days into the trip when I started coughing. Bad enough that on Thursday I pulled something in my back just from coughing. And Megan was getting sick but I was ignoring it and dropping her off at daycare quicker every morning, in hopes that no worker there would notice and send her home with me. See, I'd rather go to work sick-ish than stay home all day sick having to take care of my sick kid. Hi there, Eva's warped mind!

I had decided that I'd stay home sick with Megan on Friday, then something came up at work, so I showered, made lunch, dressed us both AND loaded her up with orange juice, then did the now-familiar quickie dropoff. By noon I was fading into coughs and went home sick. At 2ish daycare I got The Call from daycare, and had to do the Drive of Shame to go pick her up. Her and her 101.5 fever. I sobbed as I drove, feeling like the worst mother ever, because what kind of monster sends a sick kid to daycare?

When I got there, Megan and another little boy were lying on their tummies, shirts off, with cool damp cloths on their backs, and one of the workers was rubbing their backs. "Poor little tragic Megan" I thought, while immediately thinking "Yay! I'm not the only monster mother who sent a sick kid in today! I'm not the worst!" A third kid was also getting sent home, so I really didn't feel that bad after all. Well, other than the Sick taking Sicker home thing.

We spent last weekend sick but getting better, and I had help from a few people without whom I would have lost my mind at having to stay home and Be Sick. We stayed home last Monday as well, but by then things were mostly ok. Still lots of coughing (me!) and sleeping (Megan!) but we were well enough to venture to Ikea. Which - sidenote - BIG mistake. Sick kids don't belong in chaotic commercialized environments. Sick mommas especially don't belong in chaotic commercialized environments with sick kids having constant meltdowns over NOTHING but how shitty they feel.

I spent the whole week coughing and scaring the hell out of people. "IT'S NOT H1N1 I SWEAR TO GOD IT'S JUST A COLD" became my catchphrase. And Brad came home on Wednesday and all was right again. I had support and hugs and help. I don't know how single parents do it. Being sick and taking care of a sick kid is very stressful. I know how lucky I am.

File This Under "WTF"

This is what was hanging from Megan's cubby at daycare today. On October 19. By a fellow daycare child - let's face it, mom - who just didn't have enough to do with her weekend. Who has to fill individual cellophane bags with homemade Martha-esque cards and little chocolates, and label them, one for each of the 14 kids in the Toddler Program at daycare. Who probably has a to-do list of "Halloween Items" that includes "14 days before Halloween: hand make cards and stuff into cute themed bags with chocolates and individual labels" and "12 days before Halloween: distribute bags to the correct cubbies at daycare".

I can barely get it together enough to pack a lunch every day. In fact once Megan is a little bit older she will likely be taking those prepacked Whole Foods kid lunches more often than not, just so I don't have to get all organized every night and spread nut butter on bread. Then cut into small pieces. Then scoop yogurt into a small container. Then chop olives and cheese for another small container. Then wash grapes/tomatoes/random small produce and put them into yet another small container. Until today, my excuse for this complete lack of creativity and complete task-resentment has been "boo hoo, poor me, I have to work full time, of COURSE there's no way I could cook or bake or craft!"

And this mother has the nerve to be SOOOO organized that 12 full days before Halloween she just MUST put excess packaging and sugar (which I ate to save Megan's teeth because I am that good of a mom) and charming crafting out on display for all of us to see and take home? Next I'll find out that she cleans her bathroom and does it with a smile on her face.

I pity poor Aiden-of-2030 already. No future spouse of his will EVER come CLOSE to putting in the effort on his behalf that his mother did for him today.

My Day Off

I had the day off from being momma yesterday, as Brad took Megan out to visit with family in Abbotsford. We have had some very rough mornings and bedtimes recently so I was very thankful for this break...especially since Brad left this morning for a work trip for up to two weeks.

What? Rough mornings and bedtimes? With a toddler? NO WAY.

Megan has been grumpy and clingy in the mornings, which are of course already stressful with so much to do before we get out the door at 7:45am every day. The last couple of days I'd be lying if I didn't say that I left extra early and just drove around waiting to be able to drop her off at daycare and have the relative peace and rationality of work.

I don't know how stay at home moms do it, except that at least they don't really have to be anywhere - sure there's classes and story times and playdates...but those just aren't the same as work. They can be skipped without even having a valid reason! Is this the terrible twos hitting nice and early at 22 months? Or is it related to her sleeping issues? For well over a year now we have given Megan a bottle of milk (I know I know I KNOW this should stop soon, like about 10 months ago!) then put her to bed every night and not heard a peep from her until the morning. Sure, there have been some ungodly early morning wake ups, but the evenings have been peaceful. We could have sitters put her to bed and they also had no trouble, no tears. For the past couple of weeks though, we've had some nights where we put her down, same routine as always, and within minutes she starts screaming. And screaming. And it can last for half an hour, sometime before which Brad goes in to cuddle her, but the one night I was here alone I left her and it kind of killed me inside, but has kind of worked for the last two nights. That could be because it was the weekend, when we DON'T have anywhere to be the next day so Murphy's Law kicked in or something.

Ok, I started typing this yesterday. Yesterday after my rough week, when I just didn't know how I was going to face all this one on one time with Megan, since my parents will be away for the next couple of weeks as well. I was dreading the first time I'd have to do the bath and bedtime by myself* and dreading this feeling that I was slowly building an antagonistic relationship with Megan. She just seems so much calmer around other people, and really loses it around me sometimes, weeping uncontrollably or banging her head when she's angry or frustrated.

Then today happened. One of those dreamy perfect days where Megan was cute and giggly, fun and cuddly, smart and as witty as a kid with one word sentences can be. Where she napped for an hour and a half. Where she kicked and blew bubbles on command at swimming lessons. Where she charmed people while we were out for lunch** Where she hugged the dog and asked for her grandma, and where, oh yes, I remembered what an amazing little person she is. Where I felt guilty for all my negative-nelly thoughts, and for wishing I had one of those "easy going" toddlers.

And now I am off to knock on wood or throw salt over my shoulder or something, because after this write-up? I totally expect and deserve a 5am wake-up, breakfast-throwing kind of Monday morning.

*I know...boo hoo...lots of single parents out there aren't nearly as spoiled as I am, and lots of husbands are away for a lot longer (holler military folks)
** eating out typically proves to be better described as "messy" or "active" or "busy" or even "apologetic to waitstaff for the mess" but hardly ever "charming"